Tapping Into Strength and Wellness as an LGBTQIA+ Person
As with any group experiencing oppression, the narrative is not solely defined by oppression itself. There exists another story—one of creative responses, community care, advocacy, resistance, and strength. While there is rightly an important conversation in LGBTQIA+ mental health research on challenges that stigma presents, it’s equally important to explore these strengths.
Here’s one example: research suggests that even though LGBTQIA+ couples face similar pressures as heterosexual couples to fall into a gendered division of labor, once LGBTQIA+ couples become parents, they rate their arrangements as more equitable than heterosexual couples. According to this study’s findings, the absence of a predefined template or ‘norm’ for LGBTQIA+ couples may help facilitate better communication, preventing assumptions about who will make specific sacrifices. This dynamic often leads to greater satisfaction with their choices, representing a distinctive strength of LGBTQIA+ relationships.
In my previous post, I shared the minority stress model, but did you know that there is also a minority strengths model? This model outlines some of the most critical elements that promote wellbeing for LGBTQIA+ people. These include social support, community connectedness, identity pride, self-esteem, resilience, mental health, and positive health behaviors. Today, let’s delve deeply into the aspects of social support and community connectedness.
As social beings, we need strong interpersonal connections to thrive. Strong and supportive relationships are key determinants of positive mental and physical health outcomes for everyone. Support plays a crucial role in meeting an individual’s basic social and emotional needs (Kaplan, Cassel, & Gore, 1977). Existing literature highlights how social support represents a buffer—sandbags that stand between stressful life events (the storm) and their negative effects on health (Schaefer, Coyne, & Lazarus, 1981) and psychological distress (our literal homes) (Szymanski, 2009). Cultivating strong relationships is one of the most powerful ways to enhance one’s health. In a longitudinal study of undergraduates from Harvard University spanning over 85 years, the quality of participants’ relationships at age 50 emerged as a better predictor of their physical health than even their cholesterol levels!
The LGBTQIA+ community holds a rich tradition and history of honoring the importance of strong relationships. You might be familiar with the term “family of choice.” This phrase gained prominence through Kath Weston’s, an anthropologist, work about LGBTQIA+ kinship networks in her book “The Families We Choose: Lesbians, Gays, Kinship,” published in 1991. This language highlights the central role of chosen relationships. LGBTQIA+ adults are more likely than non-LGBTQIA+ individuals to anticipate or actually receive support from non-family members in addition to family (MetLife, 2010). Certainly not everyone in our social circle reaches the depth of ‘kinship level,’ but those that do provide the kind of support, love, and care that some receive from families of choice.
In addition to individual relationships, connecting with the community can stand as another source of strength. For LGBTQIA+ individuals, being part of “the community” or various communities can instill a sense of belonging and identification (Herek & Greene, 1995). Like all identity groups, there is no single monolithic community. Indeed, there’s more diversity within the LGBTQIA+ experience than between those identifying as such and those who don’t. However, connecting to shared aspects of the experience, such as ‘coming out, and shared cultural elements like RuPaul’s drag race, pride flags and marches, icons like Janelle Monae, Lil Nas X, and Sam Smith, and movies like Aikāne (Herek & Greene, 1995), can offer emotional support, valuable information, mentorship, guidance, and social connections. A beautiful example of creating kinship networks and community is the ballroom culture prevalent in queer people of color (QPOC) communities in the 80’s in NYC, where ‘houses’ functioned as families (watch ‘Paris is Burning’ and the popular TV series ‘POSE’).
Of course, merely being in the company of others does not equate to having genuine support, just as going to pride doesn’t automatically mean connecting with the LGBTQIA+ community. The key lies in ensuring that these relationships and spaces serve as sources of safety and belonging. Dr. Lisa Diamond (2023) terms this ‘social safety’—the feeling of fitting in with the group. Achieving this requires being known, accepted, and actively supported by others through actions that foster a sense of safety.
How do we translate these ideas into our own lives? First, prioritize identifying and honoring your LGBTQIA+ strengths seriously. Reflect on what identifying as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community has offered you. Freedom beyond rigid gender roles? Encouraged more flexible thinking in certain situations? Prompted you to challenge your assumptions of others?
Second, take stock of your relationships. While this might be challenging, particularly if past relationships have caused harm, consider who belongs to your kinship network. Are there relationships that are safe enough to deepen? Explore where you might be willing and able to reach out and develop closer connections.
Finally, examine your engagement with LGBTQIA+ community or culture. Are there aspects that bring you joy? This could involve attending specific virtual or in-person meetups, joining affinity groups, or even engaging with LGBTQIA+ podcasts, art, or books about the community. These are some starting points—if they don’t resonate with you, stay tuned. We’ll continue using the minority strengths model as a guide to uncover additional ways to foster greater wellness.
References:
Kaplan, B. H., Cassel, J., & Gore, S. (1977). Social support and health. Medical Care, 15, 47–58.
Schaefer, C., Coyne, J., & Lazarus, C. (1981). The health-related functions of social support. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 4, 381–406.
Szymanski, D. M. (2009). Examining potential moderators of the link between heterosexist events and gay and bisexual men's psychological distress. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 56(1), 142.
MetLife. (2010). Still out, still aging: The MetLife study of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender baby boomers. Retrieved from Still Out, Still Aging: The MetLife Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Baby Boomers (asaging.org)
Herek, G. M., & Greene, B. (Eds.). (1995). AIDS, identity, and community (Vol. 2). Sage.
Diamond, L. M., & Alley, J. (2022). Rethinking minority stress: A social safety perspective on the health effects of stigma in sexually-diverse and gender-diverse populations. Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews, 138, 104720.
